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  • Canden

4 Ways You Can Move Your Life Forward

Updated: Jul 12, 2018



A Story at a Standstill

As Deandra sat on the couch of her home watching TV of old familiar sitcoms she realized that her life was going no where. She had started the journey of discovering herself realizing her gifts and talents but due to recent events in her life, it was put on hold. Currently she was more involved resolving her own medical issues and regaining energy she had lost has a result. She was diagnosed with clinical depression, and generalized anxiety snd it literally took every piece of energy she had. She was not as productive as she wanted to be at work. She was lonely and had no close friends. Deandra felt like her life was at a standstill.


Can your Life Really Stand Still?

How someone can come to this conclusion

Feeling like you should be in a different place in life.

Feeling like your life is at a standstill comes from thinking that you should be at a different place in life than you actually are. When you have a picture of how your life should be, it can be disappointing when it doesn't quite work out the way you hoped.


When we compare ourselves to others.

When we think that life is supposed to be like someone else's we tend to think that our life isn't on track. We look at the progress that others are making and think our lives are supposed to mirror theirs. Other peoples lives always seem to be more glamorous, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.


When we think there are no other options.

Often when we evaluate our options, we find that they don't allow us to peacefully move on to the next stage in our lives without harming someone else or causing us to do something unpleasant. This leaves us to feeling like we are out of options. When we feel like we don't have any good options we often decide not to make any. Deciding not to make any choices, leaves us immobile and keeps us at a standstill.


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Moments in Life When Your Life Stands Still

After making a wrong decision.

Feeling our life is at a standstill often happens after making the wrong choice. Wrong choices lead to feeling pressured to either undo what has been done or to further make additional wrong choices. When we don't want to do either we are left feeling like our life is at a stand still.


Unfortunately, the only way to move your life forward, after a wrong decision is to make a good one. A good decision, after a bad decision, is never an easy one, but it is the only logical next decision that must made in order to put your life back on the right track and move you in the forward in the right direction.


After a series of successes.

When we experience one win after another win after another win, we tend to get used to, well, winning. Wanting to win isn't wrong but being accustom to wining leads us to think that this is how life not only should be, but how a successful life is. In actuality, life is a series of wins and loses that altogether form who we are. A temporary succession of wins (one after another) is something to be celebrated but not something you should come to expect all the time.


After a failure.

Sometimes when we fail at something we internalize it. We look at the failure as something that describes who we are and how we behave all the time. This destructive line of thinking causes us to be afraid of moving forward. We fear another failure, so in order to avoid it, we decide simply not to move forward at all.


Many successful people have failed many times before succeeding:

  • Walt Disney was fired from Kansas City Star because his editor felt he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas.

  • Oprah Windfrey was publicly fired from her first television job as an anchor in Baltimore for getting "too emotionally invested in stories"

  • Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts several times.

It's the failures that fuel us to be more creative and try something different. If you really want to be successful, don't let your failures define you and don't be afraid of them. They are just temporary stops on the journey of your life.


Try the Help Mii Tool! The Self-Counseling tool for those who dare to think differently.


Stand Still Kind of People

People who like control

People who always want to be in control of everything in their lives, tend to want things to happen a certain way. They already have an idea of where they should be at different stages of their life and when they are not where they thought they should be they panic. They think they are not going anywhere and tend to want to do something about it. They also think that their life should always be progressing and when it isn't, at least in the way that the thought they think their life isn't going anywhere.


People who can't move beyond the past

Whether it was something that they felt hurt by or something that they were disappointed by, it is those things that have traumatized them that they can never seem to move past. These people move in cycles. They re-live their pain over and over retaliating against those they felt hurt or disappointed by thinking this will help them move on, but it doesn't, leaving them feeling their issue is unresolved. One retaliation is never enough for these people but in their mind (like a drug) they need to do one more thing to reach resolution.


People who think they have it all figured out

When you think you know something, that you've arrived, that you've learned all that there is to learn, it's impossible to move forward. No one can teach you. No one can tell you differently. You know it all. There is no movement because you feel you don't need to move when you've reached the highest level that there is to possibly achieve in life.


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4 Ways You Can Move Your Life Forward

Who ever said that your life was supposed to be one way? Is it possible that there is more than one way to achieve things and more than one way to gain progress? Here are four ways you can move your life forward:


1: Realize you can't control everything

Whether you like it or not, God is in control. He plans everything and knows everything. His ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. This means that those things that you think are meaningless because you don't comprehend it's purpose doesn't mean it doesn't have a purpose. The Bible says, all things work together for them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). That includes the things that you feel aren't taking you anywhere.


2: Accept the things you can't change

I know you don't like this, but it's true. You can't change everything. You can't change other people, people will do what they want to do and some things happen as a result of other things. There is a saying that says life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. This is a true saying. You may not be able to change some things but you can change how you react. Which leads me to number three:


3: Change the way you see life

There is something to learn from everything you go through and in every interaction you have with others. What if, instead of viewing things as unproductive or unable to move you forward, you chose to view it as a season? This alters the situation a bit. Now, instead of seeing things as standing still, you can see things as temporary or even a period in your life you can grow from.


4: Make a Plan

The things that are in your control are easily altered by making a plan to change them. For example, not liking your weight can be changed by exercising more. Think about the ways you can change what you don't like and make a plan to change them.


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Conclusion

After giving it much thought, Deandra realized she had a lot of things going for her. She just started a business. She was currently in school. She had a great job. And she was already making moves to improve her mental health. Even though she was displeased with one area of her life, it was an easy fix. She could easily organize her time so that she did the things she wanted to do. Deandra learned that life is what you make it.



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